Monday, December 28, 2009

The Year-End Big Brag


It happens every December. The letters come, some on their own, some stuffed in Christmas cards, some on the back of holiday family picture cards. The yearly brags... gushing highlights from this or that family’s year in review. I enjoy reading them.

Each year I tell myself that I will write one... that I will update everyone on our family’s exciting progress toward perfection. I never do it. I can’t do it. Because my year-end big brag is filled with gaping holes.

But this year I finally forced myself to do it. Yes indeed, I wrote the year in review letter for an audience of one... one I do not have to (nor am able to) lie to. It starts off, Dear God...

I will share a few highlights of the highlights...

I apologized for the me that hasn’t died yet, the me that is still filled with rage and fire, the me that so poorly represents Him when I am telling off someone who has hurt me or mine.

I recapped my weaknesses that should be long gone by now but aren’t and then immaturely laid the blame at his feet. I reminded him that with all we have been through, that I should have more faith and loyalty to him, but then pleaded for no more trials by fire to improve in this area.

I thanked him for answering so many prayers including the ones that are selfish and silly, and probably not worth his time. I especially thanked him for sending Kimani’s bottom front teeth that a dentist told me did not exist.

I talked about my marriage, all my children, my goals, my spiritual state of being... the highs and lows, the proud moments and the shameful ones. And when I was done, I folded it up and tucked it away in a drawer.

And then I thought, ha ha ha, imagine if I took the salutation off and sent this letter out on crisp Christmas-wreath-bordered paper... Um, yeah, it wouldn’t be funny but it would sure be the real deal. I can picture the jaws dropping and the “oh, Lordies” flying. Gosh, don’t you just love year-end big brags?


L.L. Barkat said...

Oh, gosh, how I love this. And that, in your way, you did "mail it out" to us.

Thank you. Really.

Lyla Lindquist said...

I don't write the letter either, but I confess I've never had this conversation with God, the year-in-review. We do the day, but I don't know that I'd ever dared tackle the year. Perhaps tomorrow, He and I will do just that.

L.L. Barkat said...

You've been featured today at HighCallingBlogs. :)

ELK said...

i. so. love. this.

Ann Kroeker said...

Real. So real.

Thanks for writing and sending out your Christmas newsletter. I love it.

Maureen said...

Wonderful post. . . and a lot more interesting than those end-of-year letters I receive.

Linda said...

Oh - I can never write those end-of-year letters either. I feel like such a hypocrite. Thank you for sharing yours. Makes me feel so much better!

Jennifer @ said...

As always, I appreciate your honesty.

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