Monday, August 15, 2011

"Mommy, You Forgot..."

Let me set the stage for this one...

It is early Monday morning. The rain is coming down and I have four children to get up and ready for school and camp. At 8:10 my boys have to be over at the middle school to catch a bus that takes them up the mountain to Swamp camp, and my girls have to be waiting at home for the bus that takes them to school. My husband is in Michigan and my mom is unavailable to help so my best girlfriend is at my house to stay with the girls while I drive the boys to the bus.

This is my first attempt at getting four children ready by 8:00 am to leave the house for the day. I am packing lunches, doing ponytails, putting on sneakers... We are all ready to go on time and I think I have it all under control.

I drive like a mad woman to the middle school since this is the first day and who knows if the bus will be early. There are several minivans in the school parking lot and no bus yet, so I breathe a sigh of relief.

And then Jade pipes up from the backseat, “Mommy, you forgot that I have to go poo-poo when I get up in the morning.”

OMG, seriously? Instant panic attack.

He continues, “You also forgot that I go pee too.” I have a good excuse for this one. His pull-up was soaked when I got him up and I asked him if he needed to pee more and he said no. So much for taking the word of a four year old.

“Do you think you can hold it for a little while until the bus gets you to camp?”

“No mommy, I have to go poop NOW.”

There is a chance the school is unlocked and that I might locate a bathroom and get this done before the bus comes and goes... but that is doubtful. I explain to Jade that maybe for today he will come back home with me and start camp tomorrow.

He starts freaking out and I am afraid he is going to poo his pants right then and there.

Then I remember a hilarious story my mom told me about having to poo in a bag while waiting in a parking lot to board a deep sea fishing boat. I grab the tube of Wet Ones and hop in the back of the van. Surely somewhere in this mess there is a suitable bag.

We start off by just peeing in a cup, which fills up way more than I expected causing a second wave panic attack. A half inch from the top, he stops. Whew. And then, yup, I had him poop in a paper bag. Just after he was all set back in his seat, the bus pulled up.

Tomorrow I promise I will remember to put Jade on the potty whether he says he has to go or not.


L.L. Barkat said...

omg, hilarious :)

Not a Perfect Mom said...

I have so been there! My kids always have to go at the worst times, and now I think it's a novelty, going in bags and such...but how can I say no? they got me!

Leah Spring said...

Pretty much dying laughing here! If ever the time comes that you need to collect a stool sample from one of your kids, well you've got that one in the bag, don't you?

cd said...

You are toooo funny!! I'm not sure I could have done it!

TUC said...

Leah, that is the most clever, funny comment I have ever received. You cracked me up!

Simply Darlene said...

There's nothing like hearing "I gotta poop right now, mamma" from the back seat. After one such incident and because we live in a rural area, we started traveling with a training toilet and spare clothes when my son was a toddler. Yep, there's nothing like having your youngin' poop on a plastic pot in the ditch whilst logging trucks zip by.


Duane Scott said...

I LOVE your contribution over at THC today. So wonderfully written!

Mystic_Mom said...

Been there. Oh yeah. Well written and so funny and a good reminder to have the bag, cup and wipes ready for any emergency! :-)

Post a Comment

Go ahead, say it.