Monday, April 18, 2011


My seventeen year old stepdaughter walked into the kitchen to where I was sitting at the table working on the computer and said, “I hope I’m not pregnant.”

Open mouth to answer, stop, think... reply, “Um, why?”

(Y’all are impressed with my amazing mothering skills demonstrated by that well thought out response, aren’t you?)

She went on to explain that if she was pregnant everyone would forever think she married her boyfriend because of that reason and not because they really wanted to be married. Did I understand that, she wanted to know.

Yup, I did. “It’s like me and Kimani,” I said. She is here and nobody really knows if I wanted her to be here.

TK was stunned at the possibility that I may have not wanted Kimani to be here, “Well you didn’t abort her and you had the choice, so that shows you wanted her.”

“Is an abortion at 22 weeks pregnant really an option?” I asked her playing the devil's advocate.

She wasn’t looking too good. “Well, you adopted two more just like her, so obviously you wanted her.” She insisted.

Ahhh, there it is, voiced by an unworldly inexperienced teenager. The proof of my love for Kimani, evident for all to see.

I knew this thought was germinating. I’d been feeling the tiniest twinge of reckoning every time I announced to someone that Masha and Peach are adopted. I see it in your faces, your reactions... so different from when you heard my daughter was born with Down syndrome. There is no more pity, just awe and compliments.

TK had stuck her pointing finger right into a murky spot in my heart. Did I adopt Masha and Peach as a way to show the world that Kimani is good and valuable, and worth the air she breathes?

If you asked me that before I adopted them, while we were still thinking of adopting, still pushing papers, I would have told you “No, we are simply saving two lives.” But now, I don’t know. Maybe there was a part of me that knew that bringing the girls home would answer all those unasked questions. In a way, saving their lives is the statement that saves Kimani’s.


S said...

Wow!! How refreshingly honest. Why can't it be a whole ray of different things? Not until the end of the Path does one understand what has happen. The path of least resistance shall not bring such peace and fulfillment. You are a blessed momma!

Monica Crumley said...

That first paragraph hooked me right in :-) Great insight from a teenager... whatever your honest, deep-down reason for adopting your newest little ones, there's not denying that you're a beautiful example of love and a willing and open heart ready to show the world how normal your kids are :-), no matter the chromosome count.

Lisa said...

It is definitely part of the reason we adopted another child with Ds after having show others that a child with Down syndrome is worth saving, worth loving. That was part of my emotion in the courtroom...realizing that our adoption of Alina was validating not only her worth and her life, but Bridget's as well...

Unknown said...

I have never thought of it that way...but I can see it...I can see how adopting a child with Down Syndrome can show the would how our kids are worth the air they breathe...teenagers! I am not sure about them...I get I was one! but they scare me a bit! your reply was stunning! smiles

Not a Perfect Mom said...

I've read and reread this today...
the strikes that the reason my hubs and I keep contemplating everyone understands B and the others are worth it?
and does it even matter? As long as these kids are loved and saved?

The Sanchez Family said...

You are writing some of your most powerful stuff these days :) This post hits the nail on the head for me.

victoria corn said...

oh this was so heart warming. to think there is someone out there wise enough to write these loving and kind words, is so powerful. god bless you, siste.

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