Sunday, January 20, 2013

She Tries Not to Cry, She Fails

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Alone in the parking lot, the loaded question he asked plays over and over in her head as she turns the key in the ignition. "I will not cry. I will not cry," she whispers into the darkness as the van’s engine purrs to life. "You knew this was a possibility," her thoughts chastise as hot droplets spill over her lashes against her will. She swings the van around in the school parking lot and lets its bright headlights lead her home.

"Have you considered keeping her where she is now?"

That is what he asked her. But what he meant was that her little girl is not even good enough for the self-contained Kindergarten room she’d fought to keep her other daughter out of.

What he wants her to do is send the girl to a private school for very special children but she is afraid. (The school is in the same center as her babygirl's current preschool.) She has seen the children who comprise that K-2nd grade classroom. She knows she is a hypocrite but her heart can’t help it.

Why can’t pre-K last forever?

grad

4 comments:

Lisa Morguess said...

Oh, friend. My heart hurts for you.

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

Oh my...I am lost with this one...I do not think segregation of our children is what they need...but I think that if a person in the typical classroom is not willing to teach our children...maybe elsewhere is best...but if this is worth fighting if you feel it is truly appropriate for your girl...thinking about you...smiles n hugs

aprilanecdotes said...

Or you say the heck with what he thinks and homeschool her for a year or two and then place her in a regular kindergarten. Both my boys with Down syndrome started kindergarten at 6 rather than 5 and did beautifully. You have just started to push against where everyone "thinks" your child should be place! Just say no and follow your dream for inclusive schooling even if you have to push to get her included. Don't go it alone. Go into those meetings with an advocate even if you have to pay one. It will be money well spent. I know because I did it! My kids with DS are now 24, 20 and 15. You can do it. Cry those tears then dry those tears and fight the good fight for your daughter. She does not belong in a special school.

Jen Currier said...

What I love in this post is that even though it hurts and even though it makes you cry, you CONSIDER what he said. You might come to a different conclusion, but what is spoken so loudly, though never said is that you will do what is best for your daughter. And you will. My heart still goes out to you for the hurting though.

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