Wednesday, November 4, 2009

You’re So Predictable

(To my beloved regular readers... please turn back now. I am not talking to you in this post.)

I am talking to you, stranger... multiple you, those of you who expound on the reasons why babies with Down syndrome should be throw-aways. You are always lurking out there ready to jump into any Ds-related comment thread on any high-profile blog. And you are so predictable that you fit into one (or more) of the six categories below.

I’ve got a little something to say to you, so here we go (better put your seatbelt on).

Hello pro-choice zealots... I’m starting with you. There is no need to turn every discussion about having a baby with Ds into an abortion battle. If the mother of a person with Ds says something positive about her child that doesn’t mean she is suggesting that we overturn Roe vs. Wade. Take your freaking-out self to a blog post that is arguing to restrict or end abortions, kay?

Hardcore pro-lifers... you’re next. Your obsessive attacks against anyone who even thinks about terminating any child are NOT helping to show the general public that people with Ds are more alike than different and worth keeping. All you are accomplishing is making people think we parents of children with Ds are flagellants. So please go follow the pro-choice zealots to wherever they are headed and continue your fighting over there.

Dear maltreated taxpayer... you ask who is going to get stuck paying for these “incapables” once their parents die? Probably the same people who pay for welfare kids, prisoners, EIC, mortgage bailouts, WIC, disaster assistance, Pell grants, Head Start, HUD, wars in the Middle East, etc. Yup, that’s you, and me, and my husband, and my parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, children, siblings, nieces, nephews... you get the idea, right? But more than likely there will be parent resources that have moved into a special needs trust... after all, did you know that when you die your money doesn’t go with you to Heaven?

Concerned pseudo-doctor... oh the pain and suffering we have inflicted on these poor individuals with Ds by letting them live. Not for nothing, but Ds is not CP, autism, cancer, SMA2, spina-bifida, etc. Stop comparing Down syndrome to things is it not. (Note: to the parents of children with those medical issues I named, I mean you no harm. I am simply saying that our paths are not interchangeable.) Wanna-be doctor, doctor, are you listening? Hear this... Down syndrome does not cause pain and suffering (though you often do).

Distant relative, next-door neighbor, friend of someone’s someone... you claim to have witnessed from afar a sad situation concerning a person with Ds who became a horrendous burden on everyone around him, causing his siblings to be neglected and eventually driving the mother to suicide. Um, yeah, how come its you out here complaining and not one of those siblings? I’m not saying your exaggerated story isn’t the god’s honest truth... but let’s acknowledge that this sort of rotten apple situation occurs across the entire population and is actually more common amongst typical folks than those with Ds (alcoholics, drug addicts, child abusers, dead-beat dads, porno dolls, and Bernie Madoff, please stand up and take a bow).

And my personal favorite, the incredulous ignoramus who thinks parents who love and appreciate their children with Down syndrome must be lying or delusional... Oh I have so much to say to you but none of it is appropriate for my rated pg-13 blog, so let’s just leave it at, “WTF?”

What’s that you say? You don’t fit into any of the categories above? You have something fresh and intelligent to add to the discourse? Tell me where to meet you. I’ll put on my boxing gloves and be right there.

17 comments:

DownTownDan said...

This may be my favorite post I have ever read on any Ds blog. I love the fact that you have now officially and properly categorized all of these idiots and their idiotic arguments. It's a taxonomy of callousness. Because a huge chunk of people really do seem to fall into these categories. We have all encountered them, time and time again. Thanks for writing this.

Adrienne said...

lol- love it! I am def. prolife but by no means throw it in anyone's face. I'm so over some of the ridiculous comments I've come across lately. Thanks for sharing your take on it!

Anonymous said...

dan- is the use of the word idiot really any better than the "r" word???

definition of idiot- a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

cremcd said...

***Standing and applauding!!!!***

Monica Crumley said...

Really a great post. I'm like Adrienne -- prolife, but don't fall into #2 category. I'm all for educating and advocating. My biggest concern is docs, genetic counselors, "medical" companies, who give their negative personal opinions to women with a prenatal diagnosis of their baby w/ Ds on the "suffering" and "what kind of life could they possibly have?" mentoring that encourages women to terminate out of fear.

TUC said...

Anon,
I apologize... I used it first and I did consider that it originated as a label... I thought it was so far beyond that now but perhaps I was wrong. I shall come up with some other description.
Thanks for calling me out on that.

DownTownDan said...

Using the word "idiot" to refer to a person with mental retardation is archaic. It's not used that way today. A doctor would never tell you that your mentally-handicapped child is an idiot. We do still need some way to refer to the idiots in this world. The ones called out in this list, I mean.

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

GREAT post!

Lacey said...

Love this post. I expecially love how you said doctors are the ones that cause the harm. Uh ya, our case is a great example. my almost 4 year old can't even hold his head up because a doctor that went to 8 years of school couldn't figure out what makes your glucose drop. My son would be in a normal preschool right now even though he has DS if the doctors hadn't nearly killed him

S said...

WoW that was suhweet! I also love the "let us pray for healing" Uh no thanks God made my little one perfect! How can you perfect that!

Jasmine and Gaby said...

Thank you!!! Do you think I could borrow your post and put in on my blog? I would love to. You said it far better than I ever could. I'm ready and have my boxing gloves on too.

Let me know.

Jasmine and Gaby

Anne Lang Bundy said...

I believe in using grace and diplomacy to address our detractors. "Ranting" is a poor excuse to justify an adult tantrum or whining ... 99.9% of the time.

This falls into the other 0.01%. I don't have a problem with anything you said. :) My love to you! : )

TUC said...

Thanks Anne, that is very kind of you. I will be doing a post on what pushes an average parent to this place (with much less anger and aggression :-) in the near future.

starrlife said...

Couldn't have said it better!

Lisa said...

Love it. Excellent categorization scheme. True dat.

Sasha said...

Love it! Gave me a great chuckle since it is so true...

TUC said...

Harlow,

Couple of things...

1. In case you have forgotten I do not allow gutless "Anonymous" people to leave nasty comments on my blog.

2. I thought you and I were done with each other. You broke our pact.

3. I had actually forgotten about the category you belong in since your type is not allowed on high-profile respectable blogs...

See you soon.

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