On Suffering

I don’t think of suffering when I look at my pretty girl. But you do.

Don’t feel bad. It isn’t your fault. The dictionary tells you that to suffer is... “to endure pain, disability, death, etc., patiently or willingly.” dictionary.com

Down syndrome is a disability, isn’t it? And Kimani seems to be willingly enduring it.

I took my child to her pediatrician and while there had the doctor complete some paperwork that included my daughter’s diagnosis. The doctor wrote, “Down Syndrome” on the line and then in the part for a description of the symptoms, she wrote, “developmental delay.”

Huh, that’s it. My girl is slow to learn things. This is considered suffering in our society.. a culture that values the intellectually and physically fittest above all. And here I thought we were simply a beauty obsessed culture.



Too bad we’re not because she surely is gorgeous. A face made of all the pretty things we prize the most, particularly facial symmetry. With sparkling blue eyes and a dainty nose and rosebud lips she is perfection.. oh no wait.. those eyes, if you look close, if you stare at them long enough you can see it. The slight tilt gives it away... her suffering.

When she was newly minted, a mere two weeks old, I wrote in my journal “And yet she does not seem to be suffering. It is me who is hurting and scared.” And so it remains today.

The suffering is mine and yours.



Note: I could have linked the "you do" to numerous places but I chose this one because it makes me even sadder to know that fellow Christians think this way about my child.