Cain

The Gecko’s middle name is Cain. Yup Cain, the one who killed his brother. I thought I made up for it by selecting a first name that was taken from the kindest prophet in the Old Testament... but I guess not. My Gecko is a fighter. This child has not been able to turn down a tussle since starting Pre-Kindergarten in 2007, and this weary mama is getting tired of hearing what a naughty boy she has.

Last week he bit a kid. Today he bit a kid. Now he has been kicked out of Swamp Camp. Granted he didn’t start the fights, and yes he was being bullied but sheesh, why can’t he ever walk away? When it comes to the fight or flight reaction in the face of threats, he seems to only have the fight part.

I suppose this serves him well in soccer. He is an aggressive player and has no fear.

  

But for everyday situations when bigger boys are threatening him or pushing him around, he has no ability to control himself. I explained to him that there are different ways we handle things depending on the situation... if a grown up is nearby, he should get help but if there isn't, he should defend himself anyway he can. I tell him that name calling and threats are just goading and not to fall for it. I remind him that he who hits back gets caught.

All my efforts, punishments, and positive reinforcers have done nothing to help him. So my next idea is to train him to fight. Maybe having knowledge and confidence concerning real fighting will help him to manage these playground scuffles. Or maybe not... maybe he will just knock those boys out prior to getting scared and desperate enough to bite them... and then what will that camp lady say?