Sunday, January 3, 2010

Where Were You?

So you wanna be my friend on Facebook? I won’t say no... I am not interested in lobbing a mortar attack. But I will ask you, “Where were you when my baby lay dying in the hospital?”

thenThe silence coming from your neck of the woods was so loud... it told me all I needed to know. For 113 days that tiny girl fought for her life 15 minutes away from you, and you never even went to meet her. Had she died there, what would you possibly have had to say to me at her funeral?

Oh, you don’t like hospitals? You can’t handle seeing little babies who are covered in wires? You could have brought a meal over, or offered to spend some time with the children I left motherless at home.

now
You judged her, and you judged me for letting her be born alive. And your silence was the sentence you imposed on us.

And now we’re friends on FB. Facebook needs new categories, "Friends but not really", "I think I remember you", "Not friends at all but I want my number to go up".


photo by Artist Anaa

10 comments:

L.L. Barkat said...

No words for this. Just taking it in.

Dina said...

Wow! Sounds like a well deserved calling out.

Anne Lang Bundy said...

I pray the Lord heals the hurt here.

I pray the Lord grants freedom in forgiveness.

I pray the Lord allows the blessing to obscure the curse.

I ask these things, Lord, in the name of Jesus, for His glory.

Far Above Rubies said...

Wow, I think I left FB for some of the same reasons. I'm soaking this in too.

TUC said...

Thank you Anne.

Sasha@ Blyssfulhealth said...

Wow...I guess you really find out who your true friends are. May you be blessed with true supportive friends that are there for you.

Crittle said...

I read this yesterday and it's been on my mind ever since.

I'm sorry you had to feel this pain. In a way, it's very familiar. And it sucks.

Anonymous said...

The sadness that built up has finally spilled over. Out of your head..out of your heart..out of your hands..let it go. anon

Jennifer @ JenniferDukesLee.com said...

In my own way, I feel this, too. I've wondered the same as I "friend" people who've been absent in my own pain -- and as I "friend" people for whom I've been absent as well.

And you ... you put words to the depth of that feeling.

Thank you for your continued honesty. Hard words to hear, but words we all NEED to hear and remember.

Jennie said...

I have similar FB "issues." I was 1.5 hours away from my then-home when Micah was born. That was only 15 minutes away from where I grew up. And during that time as I was just joining FB, no one I had gone to HS with even offered to come by. TRUE friends are hard to come by, so I choose to be thankful for them and try not to lament those with whom I am not close.

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