No Halos Here

I read an article by David Perry the other day that challenged the idea that it is ok to label people with Down syndrome as angels. It happens a lot. I am guessing it is because people are trying to be nice and don’t really know what to say that will come across appropriately positive, so they play it safe with, “Children with Down syndrome are a special blessing from God. They are like angels here on earth.”

Perry’s response to that was,

“But while good intentions count for a lot, “angel” makes me no happier than “retard.” ... Symbols, labels and representations—in media, literature and our daily conversations—shape reality. The words “retard” and “angel” represent images that dehumanize and disempower. Both words connote two-dimensional, simple or limited people. Neither angels nor retards can live in the world with the rest of us, except as pets, charity cases or abstract sources of inspiration.”

The discomfort I feel when people refer to my child as something otherworldly was validated when I read it. Kimani is not an angel. She is just a girl... a girl with an extra chromosome who suffered brain damage as an infant. Physiologically she has too much, and too little. I admit that there may have been a time early on that I hoped she was an angel. The path she has been relegated to would be less painful (for me) if I knew that she was in fact a higher being submitting to some Godly purpose here on Earth. But, alas, she’s just a girl.

If she were an angel, she would not have gotten herself kicked out of the church nursery 7 minutes after I dropped her off there for the very first time. Yep, we have not gone to church as a family in a long long time but last Sunday we decided to try a church we have been wanting to visit. Kimani terrorized the nursery workers and children. In a flash she swiped everything off the little table and tried to climb up on it. She took snacks right out of the hands of her peers. She stomped back and forth the length of the room, thrashing and trashing in her usual Godzilla style. The poor shell-shocked nursery worker handed her to me over the gate and said, “I’m sorry, she needs a one-on-one.”

A very cool feature of this church is that the later of their two services is in a big room that has a children’s play area in the back. I took her over to the toys and let her play on one of the little tables while I listened to the message. My husband slipped out of his seat and joined us. This lasted about 5 nerve-wracking minutes until she spit up some milk. I left to get a paper towel to wipe her chin with, and she escaped her father climbing down from the table and up onto another one... that had a bucket filled with Legos on it. In a split-second she threw the bucket and all those tiny Legos made the loudest noise ever. That was it... the non-angel went to sit in the van with her daddy.

There is still a chance though that she has a Guardian Angel who watches out for her. Take a look at this clip of our daily life, and you decide.