Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Whose Blog Is This?

Earlier this month I wrote a post about honesty and writing, trying to decide for myself if it matters that the blogger’s truth is usually blurry. I left off thinking it probably doesn’t matter.

But what about when the blogger’s truth is silenced, subjugated by the fact that readers might be hurt, or pissed. When a blog is anonymous, the you isn’t you reader, and so the author can talk about you all she wants.

But this blog isn’t really anonymous anymore, so if I use your marriage, my job, or something you said, did, or didn’t do as fodder, well then reader, I might actually be talking about you, and you would know that, and you would probably not like it.

And then I would be in trouble.

Over the last week I have written posts, and then not posted them. I’ve written about things that I am struggling with, things that are hurting me... For the first time since I started blogging I have written in blood and then decided that I cannot publish my words.

My blog is not my own anymore. In a way it belongs to its readers... it is held captive by their feelings, their judgements, their sensibilities... You stranger are not a stranger anymore, and now I just can’t talk to you the way I used to.

9 comments:

Becca said...

I think this happens all the time, unfortunately. I have had to curb my posts many times. Even if I'm being hypothetical, I know that people will know what I'm talking about. I guess the diaries with little gold locks haven't completely gone out of style yet.

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

I get this...I think we have to be free about our feelings...even if it hurts or offends..I want to hear the truth...if you piss someone off it is there choice not to continue reading...I need to write..it is the only way I can cope with my life..please post and be truthful...the world is not always pretty or great...but maybe you will touch that one person that needs it at that moment..I know you have for me...smiles

RissaRoo said...

Wow. This really hit me, especially the last line! I've dealt with that, too...I have quite a few posts saved that I just couldn't bring myself to publish, and I've even pulled a post or two off my blog because I just didn't feel settled about them...in general, they were not with the "spirit" of what I am trying to say there. If that makes sense. And then again, if you ask me what I'm trying to say there and why I couldn't say what was in the other posts, I probably couldn't tell you...

It's a hard balance sometimes.

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. I really appreciate you putting this out here. I believe this is a very important topic. One that we as a family have debated over this past year. I wrote a post almost one year ago that one of my husband's sisters did not like. She turned it into something it was not meant to be and subsequently that part of the family has not been talking for the better part of the past year. In my final email to her I said, "This is not fiction I am writing, as our blog heading says it is the real life story. I'm not making up content. Mom's of kids with disabilities don't have time for anything but the truth." But the reality is, I could have said some nasty things in that post that upset her and I purposely left them out to not be cruel. So I did edit. It gets fuzzy that's for sure.

Holly W said...

this post makes me sad...
I always want to feel free to say what I want/need to but I don't force anyone to listen, or read.
I do understand though, I never want to offend, I guess it is a tough balance...I guess I don't know what I'm trying to say...

thetaooftulips said...

If you need an ear or a shoulder...you know where to turn. so sorry-

Melissa M said...

This is a hard thing. What I write is honest, but is censored sometimes, and I don't like that it has to be that way. My blog is for me, and yet those who read do influence us. I'm very sorry you are struggling with this and don't have your outlet.

Jasmine said...

I knew this would happen and I'm sorry. I understand your position only too well. However, please remember your writing heals you (and others) and it is (you are) brilliant. You must find a way to write freely again. I know you will find it. For your sake, you must find it.

Sasha said...

Interesting topic. I do watch what I put on my blog. However more so in regards to personal family things like family illness, financial things and other extended family things that maybe taking up my time or influencing my mood.
As of yet I haven't changed what I would say about my son. I think the thing is that if our readers or blogging friends can't handle what you say...then are they a true friend or a stranger that frequents your blog. In my opinion I would want other's who read my blog that I consider more than strangers to accept what I have to say and understand where I am coming from. Worst case? You find out who really let's you be you.

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