Sunday, January 11, 2009

Grandmother...


All that is left designating me third generation
The final barrier between child and grownup
Let me play here a while longer.

Fifty four years separate us, forever one day will
Then, no longer a grandchild, I will create them
for someone else’s smiles.

Your very oldness protects my youth,
sheltering me, where mistakes are easily forgiven
and parents aren’t truly grand, yet.

Put your hand in mine, Grandma, and keep it warm
Open your eyes and look at me, your grandchild
I am ready you say, but I am not I reply.

For when you are gone who will say of me,
This is my darling granddaughter, isn’t she beautiful?
Going with you, I the grandchild, will cease to be.


I wrote this not-quite-a-poem some years ago... before I had my children and while my grandmother was still alive. She died this past spring thus promoting me up a link in the chain of life. I miss her soft, gnarled hands twisted like tree roots and her wrinkliness. I miss her distinct German voice accentuating my name. I miss her thick, approving love. I knew I would miss being a granddaughter.

9 comments:

nAncY said...

very lovely

Billy Coffey said...

So very, very good...

hope42day said...

It reminds me of my grandmother. She has been dead now for 11 years. The one thing I miss the most about her is her voice. Thank you for helping me remember...

Anonysister said...

I like how you describe her hands.

And these are the kinds of things one cannot understand until it unfolds... and even then, how do we understand something so profound and difficult?

Hey, I just noticed the new pics in the slideshow. She is so darn cute.

Anonymous said...

It dawned on me with a sense of surprise, that my Mother stood as a small but solid wall between myself and death. And then the wall was gone.

RissaRoo said...

Thank you for this post, I spent the morning thinking of my grandmother and the lovely thought of getting to know her again one day in heaven. You are right...something of yourself passes with each generation as it ends. And yet we are assured of a completeness we've never know here on earth, when in heaven we'll be connected to all generations!

L.L. Barkat said...

Lovely. Truly.

Katrina said...

This is so very, very beautiful... so heartfelt and deeply affectionate.

thank you for sharing this... makes me think of my own grandmother and how much she means to me.

Thank you for your kind words at my blog... a really, really appreciate your comment.

Amy Dietrich Hernandez said...

I lost both of my grandmothers this year within a few months of each other. You really capture my feeling that I've suddenly been thrust one generation closer to death. It's sad and scary. Thanks for this.

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