Saturday, March 19, 2011

Enigma

I love puzzles, hidden meanings, and riddles. I have a strong desire to figure things out, to uncover reasons and investigate results. I like secrets, and I can keep them safe.

And so perhaps Kimani is the perfect child for me.

She sees, but she doesn’t. She is beautiful, but she is a deviation. She is simple, yet a conundrum. Her skin still smells like it did on the day she was born. She mystifies me, stupefies me, and terrifies me.

Everything between us takes place on her terms. She shifts the lines on a whim. Any despotism on my part is matched with wild resistance. Her love for me is intense, and when she wants to express it, nothing can stand in its way. A hard earned smile from her enchants me.

I study her, memorize her, deconstruct her, analyze her... I try desperately to read her mind. Training her is like walking a tightrope, it exhausts my sense of balance. She makes me wonder. She makes me cry. She delights and inspires me.

She is my enigma.